BFFM - Day 2 & 3

Well, I went to a wedding yesterday and didn't have much time to blog so I'm combining it with today. Below is a pic of me, my date (lady in black) and the mother of the bride (lady in purple).

It was a great time and we had a lot of fun! Check out this centerpiece! I thought it was really pretty!!

Here is a pic of the cake and I only had a small bite (but still too much for all I ate yesterday)...

Here is the bride and groom

All in all it was a nice day for going out.

As for exercising, it was my 'off' day, so I didn't do anything. Eating didn't go as smoothly. My sister in law brought over her homemade enchiladas with rice and a corn salsa. While I didn't have a lot, I didn't feel that it was healthy, but it was good. I ate a little at the wedding and then came home and had a midnight snack of enchiladas. So, the eating depressed me a bit, but I'm making better choices today.

Started with some plain instant oatmeal and added blueberries to it. Did B&G floor work along with 40 min of my kickboxing DVD. Still no change in the scale (rats!) or clothes but it'll happen. It's only day 3.

Ok, now it's off to painting..fun fun haha :)

Yesterday was also my rest day for exercise, but I did try out a DVD I got from
Well

BFFM - Day 1

Well, today was my official day one.

Official weight: 136.8

Official BF%: 27.6%

I couldn't believe the BF%....this means I only have 99.04 lean muscle mass and 37.76 lbs of pure lard! HOLY MOLY! I thought I was at least in the 100's with my muscle mass.

Despite being a bit down about that, I am still positive. I can feel that this time is different. I have a real goal, one that I can't quit and just say 'oh well, maybe some other time.' I also joined up with some other people as a team, in order to help my accountability. I'm excited to see my transformation.

My niece was telling me how she needed motivation to workout and I told her my (soon-to-be) awesome body would be all the motivation she would need. After all, she can't let her 'old' aunt look better then her...ahhh, I look forward to that day :) I love her to death, but I just want to prove to her that eating clean and working out do give you the body we always wanted.

My eating was pretty good but needs to get 'cleaner' and more portioned. I ate healthy meals for the most part, but that's not good enough, so I'm going to focus on finding new 'cleaner' meals to eat.

I did the Cathe Chest and Triceps today and along with weed whacking the lawn, my arms are KILLING me :)

So, I gotta go rest. haha

BFFM Challenge - I'M IN!

Ok! I did it...yikes! I signed up to do the Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle Summer 2010 challenge. I had to take my 'before' shots and yikes! It's not until I took those shots and measured my body fat percentage that I thought, 'Cheryl old girl, you really need to stop hiding under clothes and CHANGE YOUR BODY so you can stop DREAMING about who you want to be and start LIVING out that girl!

So, I'm posting my 'before' pics here, along with my weight and (yikes again) body fat %.

I'd appreciate any advice on foods to eat as that seems to be my downfall. I think exercise is going well. So, here goes nothing!

DAY ONE

Last weigh in I was at 136.8 with a BF of 26.8% Tomorrow will be my official weight and BF % and also my official day one, so I'll put it all up tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing the change!!!!

Facing My Fears

I was going to title this post "my biggest fear" but I'm not sure if what I'm about to say is my biggest or just a cover up for something deeper. I get a lot of self therapy out of typing so I thought I'd see what comes out of this.

Interestingly enough, failure is not my biggest fear. It doesn't really even scare me, quite the opposite. I seem to welcome it with open arms. It is my 'safe place' so to speak. You may think this is crazy, after all, isn't this blog about success? Crazy as it may seem, it is true. You see, if I fail I get a lot more attention, sympathy, support, compliments then if I succeed...this is true even of my own mind. If I succeed, I also have to maintain and that scares me to...failure.

Growing up, my brothers would always taunt anyone who failed, but if they succeed and then failed it was MUCH WORSE. I don't want that to happen, so I never stay fully on track. I always allow for excuses.

So, how do I succeed? The only thing I can think of is it is a step by step, day by day, minute by minute process. I have to remember the rest of my life may only last to the next minute. This may sound morbid to some but it relaxes me. You see, if I think of maintaining a healthy lifestyle for the rest of my life, and I see my life going on for another 30+ years, I panic. But if I think I only have to do something today, and prepare for tomorrow, but NOT worry about tomorrow, I can do it.

I'm still thinking about the BFFM challenge. I want to sign up committed, not as another fad. I always wanted to do some kind of figure competition, but have never been brave enough. This challenge is like one of those (in my mind), but I want to talk to myself and look at the book more to see what is involved and make sure I'm committed.

whew! gotta go to bed, got church in the morning!

Night!

CC

BFFM Summer Challenge...Do I dare???

Ok, if you are reading this I need, ok, I want, your opinion.

I received an email to sign up for the Burn the Fat, Feed the Muscle (BFFM) Summer Challenge http://www.burnthefatinnercircle.com/public/Burn_The_Fat_Summer_Challenge.cfm

I have always wanted to do this challenge and even attempted it once, but stopped. I was actually doing it on my own and didn't 'really' sign up because I was too scared to fail. I really want to try and I'm scared. I have a lot of obstacles in my path with my personal life, but I have found that I will ALWAYS find obstacles for myself so I don't have to face disappointment.

Why do I want to do this? It's like a jumpstart for me. I like working towards goals, but I need a reward...an end in sight. I have tried to set goals and give myself rewards to look forward to, but I always end up giving in and just getting the 'reward' without finishing. This is something I have to finish if I want the reward! So, it will give me something to look forward to and jumpstart me at the same time.

I want to do this but I need support and help! I would appreciate your feedback!!

Thanks!

Cheryl

Weekly thoughts

Well, I didn't get all the things accomplished this week that I wanted to but I am doing better! One of my unpublished goals is to 'eat better'. With the exception of yesterday (which was my sleepover with my girls in the church youth group) I did pretty well. It's really thanks to my sister, who is diabetic and seems to have a lot of other problems that severely restrict what she can eat, hence restricting the rest of the household. For us, this is good, cause she can only eat healthy foods. So, we are slowly joining her. We are not as strict though. Example, she can't eat watermelon - too much natural sugar for her - but we still eat it.

The thing is, in eating well, I still have not lost any weight. Still at 137. I'm a bit bothered by it, but I'm taking it in stride. I always want things NOW. So I am just going to have to keep following the routine and get back on track. I say 'get back on' cause the sleepover overpowered my weakness. I tried not to eat the junk, but after 5am, I gave in...brownies, cookies, chips, pizza...yep, I had it all. I didn't eat tons of it, but it was enough that I felt horrible about it. However, I'm making the infamous "YOU-Turn" discussed in YOU on a Diet.

I need to see that I made a detour and get back on track. So, here I am, back and I decided to share two of my experiences from you. The first is a pic from the sleepover...we put on fake tattoos (it's one of my downfalls...I love fake tattoos!)

The next pic is of my niece and me at the local fair. She is the one I help my sister out with a lot and she is such a good girl...gotta love your kids (or nieces in my case) and I do :) It's people like her who make me smile :)

Well, that's it for now...Still pretty tired from my lack of sleep, so I'm turning in now. Talk to you more later!

Quick Thought

I have to go workout and then pick up my niece from school, so I don't have a lot of time, but I wanted to put this out there before I forgot.

I was painting yesterday and listening to "What Would Napoleon Hill Do?" I wasn't listening intently, because I had to keep running in and out to get things and then people kept interrupting me, so I decided I'd listen 'lightly' and more intently later.

Well, as he was talking I started thinking about my goals and why all my plans have always failed in the past. I realized that I have always set up goals using someone else's standards. For example, the 'world' says that I must weigh xxx and make a certain amount of money and look a certain way, but you know what? It's not what I want.

I feel like I am the only woman I know who does not aspire to run a company! All my friends seem to be going to school to get big degrees (masters and phd) and I just got my bachelors, but you know what? I don't want to continue on to a masters. I want to learn other things, but I have always felt that wasn't acceptable (more in my sub conscious then anything).

I felt like I had to have bigger and better goals. Really, I just want to get married and be a mom. I do want a job, but I want a job teaching my kickboxing (which doesn't pay well, but is still what I want).

In the cd, he talked about setting goals that you really believe in and I don't think I ever really believed in my goals because they weren't really what I wanted to do. So, I have a lot of revising to do, and thinking, about how to go about this.

Ok, I have more in my head but I gotta go!

TTYL!

Bathing Suit Season!!!!

First of all, I wanted to say thanks again to both Sandra and Jen...you guys are great motivation...whether it's calling me out, encouraging me on, or both. I can't tell you how much it means to me. THANKS!!!

Now, onto the two most dreaded words in the English language...bathing suit! While I am a horrible swimmer, I love water sports: white water rafting, jet skis, boating...but all of these activities require us to walk around in our bras and underwear, which are cleverly disguised by the word 'bathing suit'. Personally, I don't see much of a difference. Of course, I have never been the bikini type, I am still using the 'onesies' aka one piece suit. Still, I hate them. I very much dislike my legs and on top of it, I do not tan! There is nothing worse then a jiggly lady GLOWING in public. Heck, I might as well put a big arrow up and say 'hey! over here! help me feel MORE insecure!'

So, I did what I thought would be best...I went for a hunt on the internet for a bathing suit that I would feel comfortable in and I think I found it at www.titlenine.com - here it is:

Yes, I know it doesn't 'look' like a bathing suit, but it is and I love it. At least I love the picture. From what the details online told me, the shorts run a little small and they said to get a size up, but I didn't because I want to go down in weight and I thought if I actually had the suit to try on and mark my progress, I would do better. So, if I'm brave enough to take a pic, when I get it, and show it to you guys, I will...we'll see though ;0

May 3rd thoughts

Well, I'm at 139 now...I can only imagine it is due to my mini 'breakdown' on Saturday. Yes, I ran 10 miles in the morning, but I ate donuts, twizzlers, popcorn and pringles at night. I just let myself go and Sunday, I felt horrible. I usually lead the youth group at my church on Sunday night, but I just fell apart and ended up leaving, crying.

It felt like the weight, compounded with everything else in my life, just came crashing down. I woke up this morning and my eyes were so swollen, from crying, I could barely open them, but I did and I got up and did my Cathe back and biceps DVD with my sister and later went for my run, which turned into more of a walk.

However, on my walk I started thinking...I push myself to fail. I set goals that are so high up, that I'll never reach them and then I crash down into despair when it happens. It is for this reason that I am not going to run the 1/2 marathon. I'm not even sure I am going to run the 10K. Running is not my passion, but because of the races I was training for, it has taken the place of the things I really enjoy and I have been pretty down.

I did find that I like running sometimes, but not all the time. So, I think I'm going to switch back to Cathe, do her May rotation, as best I can, and substitute running for any DVD's I don't already have.

I'm working on my eating and it's been going well...today :) I'm just going to take things one day at a time, and I'll probably have to remind myself to do that. I want to be at my goal now, but my current plans are only hurting me, not helping me. So, I need to bring things back to my level, focus on getting my eating under control, and move from there.

It's funny, but with everything I've done in my life to lose weight, eating healthy/correctly has never been one of them. I would try but always give up after a day. My sister is trying to eat healthy too, so we are supporting one another and it helps.

I'm finally going to put into practice something I have never done before...eating healthy and working out...I know, it's astounding isn't it :)

I'm also going to post my goals on the side of the page. Simple and realistic goals...

As promised...here is my 'starting' pic from the race the other day.

10 Mile Run

Well, I did it and boy was it tough! The race was supposed to start at 7:30am but was delayed about a 1/2 hour due to a heavy downpour and lightening. It finally subsided, but then in came the bugs! I was fighting them off the entire race.

I did take some shot blocks with me, to give me energy throughout the race. I did want to do the 'GU' stuff cause it sounds gross. However, I might consider it. I really like the taste of the shot blocks, but they are so big and trying to chew something that big and run is hard. I'll consider the GU :)

Unlike my last race, I didn't have constant comments rolling through my head telling me that I couldn't do it, but I could tell I was starting to slow. At the end, I had to walk for a bit before my final run. I think I made it in about an hour and a half.

My shins and calves are pretty sore, but not really my quads. I am wondering if I am using my legs right. I'll have to check in on that. Also, my toes rubbed together, and (this might be gross...) there was blood all over my socks and shoes. I also entered my time of the month...it really wasn't the best day (haha).

I am wondering about the half I am signed up for in June. I'm thinking of moving down to a 10K. I don't want to give up running, and I won't, but I'm not sure I'm ready to do the 1/2. I'm still thinking about it. I have another long run next weekend - just part of my training, not another race - if that goes well, I will do the 1/2 but if not, I think I'm going to move it down a notch.

I'm pretty tired now but I have a b-day to go to. I'll add my pre-race pics later (forgot to take the after shot....hmmm...maybe that was on purpose?? lol)