Interestingly enough, failure is not my biggest fear. It doesn't really even scare me, quite the opposite. I seem to welcome it with open arms. It is my 'safe place' so to speak. You may think this is crazy, after all, isn't this blog about success? Crazy as it may seem, it is true. You see, if I fail I get a lot more attention, sympathy, support, compliments then if I succeed...this is true even of my own mind. If I succeed, I also have to maintain and that scares me to...failure.
Growing up, my brothers would always taunt anyone who failed, but if they succeed and then failed it was MUCH WORSE. I don't want that to happen, so I never stay fully on track. I always allow for excuses.
So, how do I succeed? The only thing I can think of is it is a step by step, day by day, minute by minute process. I have to remember the rest of my life may only last to the next minute. This may sound morbid to some but it relaxes me. You see, if I think of maintaining a healthy lifestyle for the rest of my life, and I see my life going on for another 30+ years, I panic. But if I think I only have to do something today, and prepare for tomorrow, but NOT worry about tomorrow, I can do it.
I'm still thinking about the BFFM challenge. I want to sign up committed, not as another fad. I always wanted to do some kind of figure competition, but have never been brave enough. This challenge is like one of those (in my mind), but I want to talk to myself and look at the book more to see what is involved and make sure I'm committed.
whew! gotta go to bed, got church in the morning!
Night!
CC
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