Father's Day

Well, of course I spent it with my dad, but I spent more of it with my nephew...

He spent most of his time on the pool table :) He really enjoyed throwing the balls...we decided not to share that with my brother :)

As far as eating went, I have to say, I did excellent! I ate before I went there so I was full and able to decline the fattening dinner and even more fattening desserts!!!

I am so proud of me!!!! I know that sounds conceited, but I have spent so much time tearing 'me' down that I need to start picking up those blocks and building me back up! I need to have some pride in myself because I am the only one who will ever care about me this much!!

I also did a workout this morning which surprised me with how it kicked my butt!!! I have to say, when it comes to working out, I'm pretty tough, so to say that means a lot. I got it off of netflix (I just recently learned that I could rent workouts over netflix). So, what w/o was it?

Yep, this is the one. It wasn't fast paced but the jumps and constant motion are what did it...either way, I loved it and plan to buy it and add it to my workout routines!

Who's to Blame?

Ever since I started trying to eat cleaner I noticed that I kept getting obstacles thrown in my way:

1. scratched my cornea and couldn't make my own meals or exercise

2. had to deal with my brother breaking his foot and needing help until he could get surgery

3. work on the house (constant pressure)

4. had a nephew who also had surgery on his foot and needed help

5. my sis has some medical problems that keep her down when they get painful and I step in

These are just a few things that have happened over the past two weeks. With all this happening, I found my resolve to stick to my clean eating even harder. I didn't have the time I needed to prepare meals and figure out what to eat and I slowly found myself eating less clean and introducing more junk (reduced fat cookies / doritos / frozen pizza rolls / buttered popcorn...).

Last night, as I was eating my pizza rolls and feeling miserable, I was thinking of all the things happening and blaming everyone else for my inability to eat clean. What I didn't want to admit is that I am the one in control of my eating.

Life is filled with challenges. It is not designed to let us live a problem free / clutter free existance. We grow stronger through these challenges if we allow ourselves to learn.

I heard someone say once, "it's never the trial that makes us stronger, it's what we choose to do with that trial." I have been allowing my trials to pave way for my excuses, so I could always have somewhere to place blame.

While I can't say I am never going to blame anyone again, I can say that I am going to start taking responsibility and I pray that every day I will grow stronger and when I fail and start to place blame again, I will once again go back to God and pray for strength to use my place in life as a building block for where I'm headed next.

These next two weeks are really committed to making the most of my situation and learning how to continue. I choose them because I have an opportunity to do it without interruptions.

Now, off to exercise and then to the grocery store to find some clean eats!

Kickboxing & Protein

Hey all! I just finished teaching two cardio kickboxing classes and I'm bushed! I love teaching but one right after the other takes a lot out of you. Sometimes I worry that I push them too hard, but I'm trying to constantly better their punches and kicks...ugh...gotta find that balance.

I am also experimenting with making homemade protein bars. So far I have had little success. The ones I made today tasted like chocolate banana bread (unfortunately I hate banana bread). I'm thinking of adding a different fruit. The ingredients are pretty easy -

2 large, ripe bananas

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

2 tbsp. unsweetened cocoa powder

3 large raw egg whites

4 oz. nonfat milk

2 1/2 c. old-fashioned rolled oats

1/3 c. Splenda

1 tbsp. olive oil (or applesauce)

2 scoops chocolate Designer Whey (or equivalent brand/flavor)

mix all / bake at 300 for 25 min. it's easy but I don't really like it.

I am thinking of using this recipe and substituting the banana...or just not putting in fruit, maybe that's what I'll do...

2 1/2 c. oats

1 scoop whey powder (use chocolate flavor)

2 tbsp. natural peanut butter

3 large egg whites

2 medium bananas mashed

1 tbsp. honey

7 tbsp. nonfat milk

1 tsp. cinnamon

mix all / bake at 180 for 15 min

I did like the protein shake I had today:

1 scoop protein powder

2 c non fat milk

1 c greek plain yogurt

1 c blueberries

1 packet crystal lite wild strawberry

ice to taste

this was sooooooo good and filling! I had a lot left over cause I couldn't finish it.

I got on the scale tonight though and while my weight is constant my body fat shot way up! I think it's the past couple days of mess ups I made. I'm really thinking of joining the kim lyons fast tract to fat loss so I can get a coach and some accountability/direction with food. I hate asking my friends to help me because I feel like they are too busy. If i hire a 'trainer' then that's their job and I don't feel bad.

Well see...if you have any thoughts / recipes just let me know!

Thx!

Day 8 - June 12

Ok, it's been awhile since I posted but there is a good reason. On June 6th I woke up with a scratched eye. It is actually a reoccurring thing, and in the past I have been able to deal with it and heal within a couple of hours, but this one was HORRIBLE. I could not move, because anytime I did move, my good eye would move and cause tremendous pain in my right eye (the scratched one).

I had to lie still all of Saturday and Sunday in order to deal with the pain. That also meant no working out or cooking my own meals, which is a real bummer since I am trying to eat fresh, healthy foods.

On Monday, I was finally able to get in and see my doc. I didn't want to go to emergency cause it would cost me so much more (i'm currently uninsured). My sis drove me there and he confirmed that it was a really bad scratch and put a contact in my eye.

You see, without the contact, the pain of blinking is equivilant to you having an open wound and rubbing something over it constantly. OUCH!

I also got some prescription eye drops and a recommendation to purchase the GenTeal eye drops. They are VERY concentrated and work well for people like me with extremely dry eyes. He also told me to start taking 2 pills a day of 1000mg flaxseed oil pills. It is supposed to help me strengthen the fatty layer over my eye and prevent future scratching.

Monday was basically spent recovering.

Tuesday, we found out that my brother broke his foot in 3 places and will need surgery to get screws and plates put in. However, it is so swollen that they could not operate right away. So they put a cast on his leg, up to his thigh, and sent him home...since he lives alone and needed help, he is staying with us. So Tuesday was spent getting him all together.

Ok, I gotta run...I'll tell you the rest later!

ps..my stats are on the side...I'm improving!!!

Day 6 - June 3rd

I think I mistakenly posted a day 6 earlier...oh well. So, I'm totally craving something junk filled. In order to avoid it, I came up to my bedroom and closed the door :) I also brushed my teeth. People say to do that when you are craving something cause then you won't want it. I think, for me, it doesn't work. I still want the junk food, but I'm not going to the kitchen. We don't have junk food anyway, but that just means I'll eat mindlessly wishing I had ice cream or cookies instead of tortilla chips :)

I forgot to post this the other day, but I found this website that calculates your ideal weight and calories. I did the long hand formulas originally and found out that this site matched them, so I think it's pretty good. If you want to check it out, go to http://www.cordianet.com/calculator.htm

As for today, not much got accomplished. I did get my nails done! My pinkie finger is broken so it doesn't bend...that's why you can't see it in the pic...

I'm happy with them :)

Then I went grocery shopping, made some dinner and went to a kickboxing class (which I was able to teach a little of myself!).

Now I'm home thinking that I need to go to bed, but before I do, here is what I ate today....

Breakfast: Oatmeal, eggs & whites, blueberries

Post workout snack: awesome protein shake with vanilla protein powder, oatmeal, ff milk and blueberries

Mid Afternoon meal: chicken breast, broccoli and brown rice.

Pre workout snack: vanilla Greek yogurt and sauteed peppers and onions (not mixed together).

Final meal: chicken breast, green beans and a cup of tea with splenda and ff milk.

I know, I need to vary the protein. Well I'm going to try some extra lean turkey meat tomorrow (Jenny-O brand). I want to put some fish in there too but I need to figure out how to cook it. Last time I set off the fire alarm...who knew?!?!

I still feel nervous about my body. I'm so impatient for change. I want to see definition in my abs and legs but I don't want to wait for the end of summer...my mom always did tell me I needed more patience lol :)

Well, I'm off to dream about being patient. nite!

Day 5

Yeah! I'm still in the running :) haha! Well, I weighed myself today and it was down 1lb!!! I hope that wasn't just water weight though. I guess I will find out soon enough. My clothes should become looser and muscles more evident (yeah!!!).

I did Cathe's GS Chest/Triceps today along with the 3DS KB. My sis has been working out with me and it's so great to have a partner! I feel like she and I are finally on the same team and it's a wonderful feeling!

Food went pretty well today. I think things might be a little boring (as far as taste goes) and the water intake needs to go up, but here is what I had....

Breakfast: oatmeal, eggs, and blueberries and coffee (yep,I'm still addicted!) Lunch: went to Coney Island and had a salad with cucumbers, tomatoes, cheese (just a little), chicken breast, olive oil & vinegar dressing and a piece of flat bread. It's the bread where I went wrong I think. Dinner: tofu mixed with green beans, seasoned with some Mrs Dash Garlic & Herb seasoning and a side of red and yellow peppers and onion (all sautéed together).